Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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