Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(828): View more from North Carolina

God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.

Fav 25 3795 1245
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(913): View more from Kansas

we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar

Fav 14 4422 1037
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.

Fav 12 3023 1313
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

You're barking up the wrong lesbian.

Fav 11 4672 1478
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(347): View more from New York

Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"

Fav 5 3435 1108
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(319): View more from Iowa

i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself

(612): View more from Minnesota

It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...

Fav 7 3225 1282
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(408): View more from California

Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.

Fav 0 1736 846
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread

Fav 0 356 136
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(847): View more from Illinois

I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.

Fav 0 31 50
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