I think i sorta joined a cult last night
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
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