You're completely useless in the revolution.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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