so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
