Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
