Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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