But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
