me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
