my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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