i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
