I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
