you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
