shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
They have beer where we have blood.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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