so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
