You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
