your thong is hanging out like whoa
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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