Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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