And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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