Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
