I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
this beer tastes like vomit already
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
