I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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