Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
