The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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