Dignity is for republicans.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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