Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
