Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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