I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
