chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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