Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
