we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
