Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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