A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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