and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
