their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
