10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
