I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
