Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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