21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Your penis caused this!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
