I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
