kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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