used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
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