Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
