Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
No I am not eating basil off your cock
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
