dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
