A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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