Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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