I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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