Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
