Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
