Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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