but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
