Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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