I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
