what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
