She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Farmville is her only friend.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
