i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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