Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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