It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You may now shotgun with the bride
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
