i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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