I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
