Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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